I was reading a news article the other day, a MMS was arrested on suspicion of solicitation and taken into court, but apparently the charges was dropped since she could only speak Chinese, so she was unable to understand her rights, declare or go under oath, the case couldn't continue because hiring a Chinese interpreter and getting them to appear in court would have been way more costly than any monetary gains the state could incur from seizing her assets.

Crazy, right? I'm not here to talk about just that one case, I'm here to talk about the pains we sometimes have to go through because the staff at some AMPs are LEP (limited English proficient) or simply speak no English at all. How do you negotiate the tip for your happy ending when the provider doesn't know what “cheaper” or “more service” means?

I find that two things always clear up any misunderstanding or lack of communication: the first one is sign language, and I don't mean the actual sign language but rather simple mimicry and hand motions to get your point across. Mimic a jerking motion and your LEP masseuse might just understand what you're looking for.

If she doesn't understand what you're saying the other language everyone understand is, of course, money. A few Jacksons is worth the same in English and Chinese/Korean/etc. wouldn't you agree? You show her your tool and tell her to do the deed but suddenly she says “oh no English I don't understand,” just flash the tip and believe me, her English will suddenly get much better. (maybe even her French and her Greek? hahaha)

Something that will cost you much less than an interpreter to be present every time you get your socks rocked off at a parlor is one of those nice newer translation apps for travelers, you know the kind. You download the app on your phone and speak a phrase into it and it will speak it back to the person you're trying to talk and vice versa. These translators are still very new and might not work for something like “you will be held for perjury for falsifying information under oath” but they definitely work for “give me something extra.” Know what I mean?