Alright guys, Mongo is gonna get a bit personal with you all and relate a sad, sad tale that happened to me a few years ago that kept me up at nights:

It was one cold winter Saturday morning, I had woken up late and with a huge stiffy, my live-in girlfriend at the time walked in to the room all dressed up. I got up from bed, grab her from the waist and try to get her to help me out with the stiffness. She slaps my hands away and says “Not now Mongo, I’m not in the mood, I gotta meet my friends at the mall.” So alone and sad I go back to bed and get a notification a few hours later from my bank to my phone. Charges totaling $300 on my account for lunch and some new shoes or whatever from her card. Imagine that, no massage, no hand job, she gave me attitude and I it all cost me 300 bucks!

Later that evening I snuck out to a my favorite place back then, MMS greeted me with a warm hug and told me my ATF was waiting for me, she massaged me, kissed me, called me by my name and even polished my knob. All for less than 200 bucks! I felt like a jackass, so I got home, got all my ex’s stuff in a bag and kicked her the hell out. I know that sounds mean but believe me, that one ex deserved it, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

So think of all the cons you get from having a nagging girlfriend: she can be iffy about sex, she gets emotional, you gotta met her relatives and be nice to them, you gotta check in with her 24/7, you gotta deal with her dumb friends, and even then she’ll treat you like garbage if she can’t pussy whip you!

Now your ATF? Will be up for it any time, no emotional taxing, you only gotta meat her mama(san) and even if you meet her relatives they’re probably cool-ass ninjas or something, she checks in with you, her friends work with her too and might even give you a 4-hands session! And of course, she treats you like a champ.

A real no brainer, right? Tell me more about your ATF my dudes.